I Would Rather Die
by oceanmoon
Summary: Naruto was the glue that held the Konoha 9 together. Until he left the village...Now, a year later Hinata has been ordered by the Hokage to exterminate Naruto. Will she do it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

This was it. Time was up. The powerful Godaime Hokage Tsunade had given up hope. Let me introduce myself. I am Hinata Hyuuga, ex-heiress to the Hyuuga head after I was disowned and cut off of my family by my own father. I had been hoping this day would never come, a day were Tsunade was just a shell of her past self, Sakura was half way to a mental institution, Sasuke was dead, and I was one of the few people who still believed in Naruto. I'll give you a little background on how this all happened.

A year ago, Naruto was still well, physically and emotionally. Konoha was being rebuilt after Pain's terrible attack, but he forgot about me and what I said to him. I was heartbroken, but after a little while, decided that I would rather just be his friend than make him uncomfortable. Suddenly, his seal malfunctioned, and with Jiraiya-sama gone, no one could replace the seal. The Kyuubi that was half out of it's mind with rage took over and stole Naruto from the village. He ran away leaving some people absolutely ecstatic, and so many more heartbroken. I grew determined to get him back and it became a period of growth for me. In two months, I was made an ANBU, one month later, and ANBU captain at sixteen. The youngest captain ever. I should have been happy, heck, my father regretted disowning me when Hanabi became schizophrenic from his constant verbal abuse. I refused to be made heir again, and instead Neji became a dysfunctional heir. He was forever to be controlled by the council because of the terrible caged bird seal on his forehead.

Months later, we heard word of Naruto being sighted by neighboring village. Their reports also included descriptions of a young man completely out of his mind acting more like an animal than a human. Parents began to tell their children that the fox demon would eat them if they ventured out during the night. Many parents claimed their children were kidnapped by 'the demon'. It hurt me to remember what his dream once was and how he had strived to become Hokage. I knew that that was not how he wanted to be remembered. The sightings continued, and each one was just a twist to the blade in my heart still, I did not shed a tear. ANBU didn't cry, unless they were dying.

When Neji first became clan head after my father stepped down, I was allowed into the farthest depths of the Hyuuga libraries to study with my Byakugan. I had discovered a second level to the Byakugan, in which the eyes could go through activation unnoticed, and could easily see through chakra clouds or Genjutsu. On one of my late night adventures, I found something that made by blood boil. One of the most ancient Hyuuga books had a way to completely disable the Bijuu, and have it disappear after the death of the Jinchuuriki. I was angry. The entire time, the Hyuuga had a way to rid Naruto of the wretched thing, and not once had it been mentioned. Then I realized that my Byakugan had been activated to the second level. I pieced together, that another person had written the book long before my time that also had my Byakugan. When I took it to Neji the next day, He could see nothing but a blank book. So I studied and after a lot of work and many headaches, I committed the book to memory.

Here I am a year later, standing at the front of my Hokage's desk. She is slumped and tired looking, probably fighting off the 365th hangover since Naruto left. I have the ANBU Fox mask I have so lovingly cared for tied at my waist. She looks up at me with soulless eyes. The eyes of someone who has had their heart ripped out time and time again, each time before it could heal.

"You are my most trusted ANBU Kitsune. And though I have been trying not too, I have come to love you just as I loved my 'son' before you." The Godaime Hokage burst into tears. "And it hurts me to do this, but we have learned the whereabouts of Uzumaki Naruto." I withhold my gasp. "Your mission is to kill Uzumaki Naruto. His brain is so rotted out by that damn Kyuubi, he won't know what hit him." She is speaking like a drunk person. "Please, just do this for me, and make sure he doesn't feel anything. Dismissed." I turn, and my heart aches when I hear the heartbroken sobs of the person I have come to know as my mother after Kurenai-sensei and her baby died in child birth. I'm headed home.

My home smells like Miso soup, Cinnamon rolls, Dango, and Ramen. I jog into my room and go into my closet. My mission kit is there in the back waiting for me. I slip on my stealth clothes and slip my weapons into hidden compartments. After a good five minutes, I'm finished and ready to head out. The air outside is quiet and no one is out except for the village drunkards, some of them I know. I jog to the front gate of Konoha and jump to the top.

"Good Evening Kitsune, out for a stroll." An ANBU I had come to trust was here to greet me, as always loyally guarding the gate.

"Sorry Bear, I'm probably going to be gone a while."

"I'll be waiting." I nod and instantly feel bad. I know he has had a crush on me for a while, but my life and my heart have already been given away. He'll get over me. I take runners stance and jump into the trees nearest to the wall. The air whistles in my ears. The option of shushin technique out of my head because I have always liked running better. I race for a few days, occasionally collapsing from exhaustion. Finally, I arrive in an area thick with trees. Looking around, there is no one here, so I activate my Byakugan. Now I see him. Naruto still has shocking blonde hair, but his eyes are far from blue. They are red with black slit pupils. He moves quietly, and I know he's not completely gone. I'm surprised he doesn't notice me. The moonlight is seeping through the canopy of trees reflecting on his hair making it glow.

He is obviously not aware that I am not here. I watch him more as he sits there looking up at the moon. A single kunai slips down my sleeve and into my hand. The darkness is overwhelming under the trees where the moon doesn't hit. The cold air moans through the trees and I run to the opposite side of the clearing where Naruto is residing. I can only see the back of his head from here. Something inside of my stomach lurches as I come to a conclusion of the choices that has been going on in my head. I slowly emerge from the line of trees. Naruto turns to me with eyes still savagely red. I head in at a fraction of my real speed waiting for him to make a move. When he doesn't even try to dodge, I move a few inches, and purposefully miss him.

"What are you here for? Are you here just to taunt me?" His voice that once was bright and bubbly is now savage and cold sounding. I stand in the trees waiting for the right opportunity. Finally, I see my chance. With the kunai still in hand, I jump out of the trees and drop the kunai as I fly towards him with him facing me. He has a Rasengan already built up in his hand as I run at my full speed. Right before I hit, I closed my eyes waiting for impact. Then, it came. I feel his hand plunge into my stomach at full force. With my inertia, my mask flies off. My hands begin to glow, and I know it's now or never. I reach out and place my hand on where his seal is. He begins to squirm as the seal is dissolved. One feral scream erupts and I see a transition between the Kyuubi and the Naruto I know. His gaze changes to me as I gasp for breath.

"H-Hinata?" I smile slightly even though the pain makes my body shudder. I lean forward with tears streaming down my face as his hand tears deeper into my body. I place a soft kiss on his lips and smile. I cry because I know I'm dying. The moonlight feels heavy on my eyes and the air feels even colder than it did before.

"It's alright now. When you go back, remember that I would die to protect you. Because I-I love you." I stutter out my last words as the darkness in my viewpoint consumes me. When it came down to it, if I had the choice of killing the man I love or dying, I would rather die! In the darkness I hear my heart beat slower and slower, and then…it stops.

I know, suck-y way to end it. I want to know if you guys want me to add another chapter? I'm going to put up a poll, so please visit my profile! Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Sorry it has been so long, I've been busy with school stuff, I will try to pick it up again, but by popular demand, this story will be concluded. Read to find out!  
**

I'm cold. So cold. The place I live is quiet and incomplete. My eyes open. I wonder where I am. I can hear the distinct beeping of a monitor.

'I guess I made it. Pity.' I can tell I'm not really alive, not really dead. I'm sort of in the middle. My limbs are heavy and I can't lift them. The world is blue and I am living in my worst nightmare. I'm underwater, among hundreds of kelp fronds that are tied to my limbs. Above me I can see the bright light of what must be the sun. Under me I see the darkness of something else. A scream escapes my lips and I grow a little more tired as I sink closer to the darkness. My composure is regained, but the breath isn't. Warmth spreads through my arm and throbs through my body. I rise just a little bit more. This is the ultimate battle. It is the battle between life and death. When I don't panic, breath doesn't leave, and I suppose I must keep it that way, for however long it takes….

Flashback

A backup team of ANBU and a medic arrived at the bloody scene that has just taken place. A young man was cradling the body of a sixteen year-old ANBU. She has a hole through her stomach. An ANBU wearing a bear mask takes a kunai out and sprang upon the young man.

"MONSTER! You did this to her! All this time I've been after her but she could never get you out of her head. Now you've just taken her away from the both of us. Is this what you wanted? If you can't have her no one can?" He desperately slashes at the blonde creature.

"I didn't mean to. Take me back to the village, lock me up, I won't complain, but don't take me away from her." Another ANBU stopped Bear from killing the teen.

"Go and help the medic keep her chakra up, I'll handle this." The ANBU turned to Naruto and took off his mask. Kiba stood there, the worst pain Naruto had seen was floating in his eyes. Seconds later Kiba pulled back his fist and punched Naruto so hard, the boy flew back into the earth and tumbled.

"She was the only thing keeping a lot of us going. She helped her team when half of them wanted to kill themselves. I've killed children Naruto! All for the greater good and no matter how bad I felt, she would be there to if not make it better, make it all go away. She was our angel sent from who knows where to keep us sane. Naruto, you better hope to Kami she's not dead because out of all of the Konoha ANBU captains in history, she was probably the most loved and trusted. If she dies, death is the least you have to worry about." Naruto had tears on his face.

"I don't count on leaving her." He held his arms out in front of him and Kiba tied them with rope trusting the blonde for his words. The medics managed to get a weak heartbeat, and the journey began back to the village. Occasionally, the party would have to stop so the medic could get her heart beat going again until they finally arrived at the village and the medic collapsed from exhaustion. The girl was rushed to the hospital, barely clinging to half life. When they hooked her up, something else was lost, and she became dependent on the machine. Tsunade walked in and simply stared. She looked at the teenage boy next to the body of her trusted ANBU, and smiles slightly.

"I knew she would do this, I just didn't want to believe it. A little spark was relit in her eyes. This spark was the one that people often lost during the darkest times of their lives. This wonderful warm little spark was called hope." I think she'll make it…" Tsunade gazed at the girl. The medics had done their best and completely patched her up. Her vital organs had been missed as if Naruto had subconsciously moved his hand to miss. But for some strange reason, she would not wake up and simply stayed there. Of course, it had only been a day, and there was still a lot of time left before she would have to ask her father if he wanted to pull the plug. She knew what he would say.

"Stop life support, she doesn't matter anymore." The man was bitter over the fact that he had lost a chance at a great leader because of his own blindness and would rather blame it on the disowned girl than admit his mistakes. No doubt, he would die by assassination and she would have to put a squad of mental ANBU into jail as well, but she was sure Hinata would pull through, and the waiting commenced.

The waiting dragged on, and Naruto faithfully came in at all visiting hours always with Kiba accompanying him. The time passed laboriously slow, and the mark of six months was coming along. That was the longest time a person could stay on life support before family was offered the decision to pull the plug or wait the maximum six months after. Soon, Naruto was liberated enough to go on his own. People began to believe in him again as they discovered that he had not been stealing the children of other villages, but a group of bandits had been. He went to the hospital every day, telling Hinata about the adventure he had that day. He wanted her back; he wanted to be his friend. Most of all, he wanted to know if she really loved him and he wanted to know if he could love her back.

* * *

The darkness had been tempting me for so long, all I had to do was let go, but everyday, I would feel rejuvenating warmth spread from the top of my head to my toes. Each time I felt more and more alive, but I felt the darkness there as well. My recovery was still far off. I wondered where I was, spending most of my time staring up at the light I wanted to so desperately be in. Whenever that warmth came, I rose just a little higher, and it was often. Then as I got closer to the surface I began to hear conversations around me. Doctors and nurses, and my friends and family. The doctors and nurses would sigh and whisper to each other about there being no hope, and that my loved ones were hoping for too much. Then I heard my loved visitors. Neji and Tenten came every week, and Neji said he was sorry for ever saying I was weak. He held Tenten while she just bawled her eyes out. Ino came by often, and told me about all of the latest gossip. Kiba had found a girlfriend and though he was depressed, made the best out of the circumstances. She told me that Chouji had finally proposed. I tried to smile, but nothing moved. She then burst into tears, and begged me to tell her how happy I was for her.

* * *

Hanabi came by with her caretaker. She told me about her friends that I knew were in her head. She sometimes said that she wondered if I could see the spiders now*. Occasionally, she suddenly became normal and spoke about how much she missed Konohamaru who had died on a team mission with Hanabi. They had been dating, and that was what pushed her over the edge of sanity. Kiba visited once, but he teared up and left hurriedly saying that ANBU didn't cry. Bear came every other day telling me how much he loved me, but that he would let me go if I would just come back and be his friend again. A few of my ANBU squad came by telling me how I could stop being such a girl and come back. They said they wanted their little angel back. The voice I heard most often was Naruto's. He came by every day, sometimes during more than one set of visiting hours. If he went on a mission and was gone for a few days, he would stay over night and tell me all about it. Occasionally, he would burst into tears and say sorry over and over again saying that he wished he could take it all back.

* * *

"I wish I was never born." On the inside, this tore my soul. I summoned all the energy I could and succeeded in making my finger twitch. He began freaking out and I smiled. He was really back. Naruto ran to the closest doctor who was obviously at the end of his shift because he patted Naruto on the back and told him to get some rest. He lumbered back in and sat back down in his seat.

"You're still there right Hinata-chan? They might not believe it, but I do, please wake up soon, you don't have much time." I could hear everything so well, I could even hear his slight sobs. He stopped promptly as if a thought struck him.

"I'm sure you'll make it, but you only have three months. Hurry back, I can't lose another friend." My heart hurt slightly, after all of that, I was still just a friend. I wanted to just let go, but if I did, I would never really have a chance, so I held. He sat back in the chair, and I couldn't hear him anymore. The loneliness washed over me, and I decided to stop my thoughts. Sleep wasn't possible in ones' conscious, so all I did was rest.

* * *

It was weeks later, I was not much closer to life, and I knew my three months were reduced to two. My father would never let me live. The light above looked so bright and tempting, I wished it was easy and I could just swim up to that beautiful clear light. The days dragged on, and some people stopped visiting hoping to sever emotional ties before my eminent death could hurt them. That was common practice when a loved one was dying, but now I really didn't know what to do, it was so scary. Whenever Naruto visited however, most of my fears were washed away, because no matter how close was getting to the date of my death, he would come and try to wake me up with his continuous cheer, cheer that I knew he was faking, but really didn't care.

Slowly, even I began to loose hope. When less and less people showed up, my progress to that light slowed. My only support began to come from Naruto. Eventually, my time dwindled to a month, and Tsunade would cry if she ever showed up. I could hear her sobs, and it hurt. I was supposed to take the hurt away, not make it worse. My heart felt like it was breaking, I couldn't stand knowing she was hurt, and the throbbing want to be up again pulsed in my heart.

* * *

Finally, it was my last week, and I was dreading it. Not because I was scared of dying, that was hardly a reason to be worried, but because I was hurting those around me. Naruto sounded so tired and sad, and Tsunade would just cry. I had hardly ever seen her cry, and now she cried almost every day. Racking sobs shook her frame and heartbreaking wails pierced the halls. I almost wanted to just die if it would make things better.

* * *

One day, five days before my deadline, Naruto came in exceptionally happy, seemingly gone crazy.

"I had a dream last night, and in that dream, you were so close to us you could almost touch us, you just need to break free. Hopefully, it will happen soon because you only have five more days." Along with his voice the beeping in the background mixed. The sound of bustling people floated in through the door. I could hear it, it was so close I could almost smell the strong disinfectant that was always used in the hospital. Then a frightening sound pierced my ears. The sound of a nearby monitor, probably in the room next to me was flat lining. Attached to that monitor was a person that was probably dying. I wished I could just cover my ears, as the screeching terrible sound mixed with terrible screams. Naruto jumped at me and I felt his hands cover my ears.

"It's okay Hinata-chan, if you can't hear it it's not there." I could still hear that terrible sound, but his hands were comforting, and the sound wasn't so scary anymore. He just stayed there, and I wanted to cover his ears from the sounds of the screaming machine, but my arms had no strength left in them. I sighed and subsided back into my mind.

* * *

Three days passed and nothing happened. Naruto would come in and just sat in a chair, apparently silently staring at nothing. Tsunade came once while he was there and told him that she would soon be speaking to my father. I knew my time was up, for real this time. So, on my last day Tsunade came by with my father.

"We give you the option. We have waited the mandatory six months and it is now up to you whether you want to keep her on life support or not." I felt my father stare down at me with what must have been disdain.

"Just pull the plug. That's One less useless body to worry about." He shrugged and turned to leave, but I heard a sudden crash and heavy breathing.

"How dare you! I should just kill you for treating Hinata like that. It's always been your fault hasn't it?!" From the sounds, I could deduce that Naruto was shaking my father around like a rag doll. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash.

"Stop it Naruto! I know it's painful, but we must at least let her die with the dignity she deserves." Naruto grunted in reply and limped back to where he had been standing.

"Get out Hiashi." The ex-clan head backed out and walked away.

"Can I stay with her over the night, just to get everything in order?" Naruto sounded so sad.

"Yes, you can, just don't hurt her okay." Tsunade sounded so soft. She walked out and closed the door securely behind her with a loud click. The loud breathing calmed down to slightly panicked breathing. A warm hand engulfed mine and if I could have, I probably would have shivered.

"I want to tell you soo much Hinata-chan. I really don't know where to start." He sighed heavily, sounding the most sane he had in weeks.

"I really wish you hadn't done this to yourself, we both could have been happy. Maybe it would have been better if we had never met." I wanted so badly to yell at him for saying those words because if I had never met him, I…wouldn't know what to do.

"But I don't know what I would have done if we never met. I certainly wouldn't be here. I would probably still be following Sakura and Sasuke around, I wouldn't have tried as hard in anything. I wouldn't be free of the Kyuubi, and I most definitely wouldn't have experienced my first love." I thought that my breath hitched for a moment, but I just guessed it was the machine acting up, trying to kill me early.

"Even if the heart break is going to hurt…a lot, I can always be grateful for the happiness you gave me when you told me that you loved me. I never thought someone would be able to love me…"

"Please come back, we have one chance. Tomorrow it's over, but I'm going to stay with you. I promise to stay with you till the end." He then proceeded to push me gently closer to the life support machine and he climbed into the hospital bed next to me. I could feel his presence and warmth, but I could also feel the racking sobs he occasionally dispelled throughout the night.

* * *

My mind went blank for hours and I only woke when I heard two people enter my room. Naruto hastily hopped out of the bed and yawned. Tsunade came in. I had been out for so long, I could tell who was who by the sound of their gaits.

"Hiashi, are you sure about this."

"Yes, positive." A throaty growl escaped Naruto.

"What do you think you are doing you animal. You're the one who did this to her." Naruto whimpered slightly and squeezed my hand tighter. Tsunade walked to the monitor and slowly turned off the operations.

"Nutrients, Water, Medicine." Each button, I could hear her struggle against sobs.

"And breathing." I felt my breath leave me. Try as I might, I still wasn't close enough. In my head I reached for the light. My finger tips passed the barrier, but I couldn't go further. The struggle for air became harder and I was getting weaker. All I could think was. 'I'm suffocating!' A loud heart broken cry escaped from Naruto. He jumped at me and grabbed both of my hands. The blackness was creeping on me and I could feel myself sinking.

"Hinata-chan, Hinata!" Still, I could do nothing, he was still calling my name when the blackness came.

* * *

Tsunade turned away from the scene. Naruto was acting like a desperate animal, trying to help its friend get out of a trap. Tsunade cringed when the machine made a constant siren and Hinata flat-lined. She shuddered at the sound and tears escaped her eyes. Naruto was still desperately trying to resurrect her.

I could feel Naruto's hands on mine. Suddenly he did something unexpected and kissed me gently on my lips. I could feel a blush course through my body.

Tsunade was sobbing when all of a sudden she heard a distinct break in the siren. She stood rigid and turned slowly. Naruto was now looking at her searching desperately for an answer. Then a beep resonated. And another and another quickly followed by another. Tsunade ran to the edge of the bed and looked at Hinata. She was a bright pink.

"Naruto? What did you do?" He blushed pink as well. Suddenly Hinata woke with a gasp as if she had been choking on water. Her eyes met Tsunade's shocked ones. Then her gaze floated to Naruto. She stared at him with a shocked expression and then her eyes rolled in the back of her head as one of the best ninja ANBU captains fainted because she was kissed.

"OH MY GOSH I KILLED HINATA-CHAN AGAIN!!!!" Tsunade jumped back a bit and looked at him before bursting into laughter for the first time in a year and six months.

"She just fainted you idiot!" Tsunade then engulfed Naruto in a bone crushing hug. He didn't even care that she broke three ribs.  
-------------------------------------

I was back…

* * *

Months later after intensive therapy to rebuild her bone and muscle mass, Hinata was back out on the field, and her squad was unstoppable. Their determination to protect their captain renewed. Naruto and Hinata began dating and certainly loved each other. It was the first time they were sincerely happy for a long time.

The outcome of my entire ordeal certainly was better than I expected. Yes our lives were hard apart, but together we were happy. I think the reason we loved and still do love each other so much was because we knew what it felt like to lose the other, and it didn't feel right. A little after the incident was over and I was released from the hospital, Naruto sadly asked me if I had ever wished I had never met him. I reached up and took his face in my hands forcing him to look at me with my newly regained strength.

"Being faced with the choice of never meeting you and never loving you or dying, I would rather die…" He smiled down at me with a smile that I knew was real and not a mask to hide his pain. I knew in that instant that he would die for me too.

**Sorry, I don't really know where these line breaks are supposed to go since my line break operation isn't working. Oh nevermind I figured it out! Anyway, I will be setting up a few new chapters, terribly sorry to make the wait so long. Please review!  
**


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